Getting Around NYC

Method 1. Car (not recommended)

Back in the long ago time of two weeks ago, I had the use of my parents’ car. During this time I got acquainted with customary New York greetings. A quick honk is a way of saying, “Hello and welcome to the city Georgia driver!”, while the longer, almost never-ending horn blast can be loosely translated as “Please move along now friend! Life is too grand to dally! That’s right. Scoot it. Scoot! Seriously, get the F out of my way!” Instead of waving hello with the whole hand, middle fingers are flashed in a friendly and playful exchange between motorists. How fun!

I got a parking ticket, basically a personal thank you note from the city expressing their gratitude for making Astoria my new home. It’s practically the key to the city! After paying my $45 fine, think it as a membership fee, I’ll be in a special club for New Yorkers only! Oh goody!

Method 2. On Foot

I have gotten lost while walking so many times already. I prefer this method of transport when it comes to losing my direction (apparently one of my favorite activities). It is easier to rectify a wrong turn with no one-way streets or horns barking “Hey asshole! Hey neighbor!” to worry about.

Astoria is crazy with their numbered streets, roads, drives, and avenues. Last week I made the ever so wise decision, considering my track record, to buy groceries at an unfamiliar store. I worried my frozen peas were going to thaw out before I ever made it back to my apartment. I cursed my choice of purchases (canned goods!?) while lugging around my bags for half an hour. Thankfully, and for the good of future frozen veggies, there are two grocery stores closer to home. I finally bought my own NYC Not For Tourists Guide with many handy and discreet maps which will become a permanent addition to the contents of my purse.

Method 3. Cab

I cannot comment on this method from personal experience. It would cost about $30 to get me home from Manhattan or Brooklyn. No thanks. I would rather wait around for an hour in order to catch a late night train. I’ve got more time than cash to burn.

Method 4. Bike

My roommate’s method of choice. She’s got the fit legs to prove it. I’m jealous, but doubt I will soon join her in this eco-friendly mode of travel. I’m too scared. And there seems to be lots of physical effort involved.

Method 5. The Subway

Easily the best way to get around NYC. It’s great. It’s easy. I live right by the N. Even I hardly ever screw this up!

It is safe too, but I must say that earlier this week I saw a gun pulled out on the subway.

While seated on the N returning from my trek into Manhattan after a vigorous day of window shopping on 5th Ave, I witnessed some cwazy on the train. Two young men rushed in mid-fight. Lots of yelling and cursing. They seemed pissed. Shouts soon became shoves, and one guy was pushed hard into another passenger. This happened right in front of me, and I was hoping they would continue to move on so no one could fall in my lap. The guy that got shoved reached into his pants. The passenger he was just propelled into began to yell “He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun!” I was trying to mind my own business, but that will get anyone’s heart pumping. Then the guy pulled out the “gun”, a hairbrush. Al three dudes started laughing and ran out of the car. The last one said as he left “You all should be ashamed.”

The subway driver made an angry announcement about holding the doors and delaying the train. I didn’t know what to think. It was crazy. I looked around. The other passengers didn’t seem phased. I started grinning.

And that’s how you get around in NYC.

We left the apartment around 5pm, starting the night off early and with a bang too. We satisfied our vegetarian hunger with falafel in the Village for only $2.50; a tasty, tasty steal for the price of subway fare!

While wandering through the Lower East Side in search of Rice to Riches, an all rice pudding eatery, we noticed a crowded store front. We naturally had to investigate and found the bookstore Bluestockings was having a lesbian erotica reading. We had to stay of course! I had no idea it would be so heavy into S&M. It was entertaining and some stories were even funny, especially the one about the cowgirl and the carnie. We both put $1 in the donation bucket.

Since Rice to Riches was not to be found in our NFT Guide, we walked down the street to Sugar Cafe and splurged on coffee and a sugar fix. Lesbian erotica can work up a girl’s appetite. We split tiramisu and baklava. Delicious. $5 ea.

We chatted at our table until my coffee was cold and it was time for our next destination, Crash Mansion. According to their website they were voted #1 rock venue in NYC. We got there just after 9pm for an hour of free drinks thanks to a heads up from Open Bars. We were serenaded by a glammed out, David Bowie-esque Michael T and the Vanities, a rocking 80s cover band. Totally rad. They were followed by a downright frightening band of Pilgrims and Indians. Male thongs on stage. The horror. They were fun and loud and took their influence from 80s rockers as well, but with much less style (and fabric). C’mon boys, “rock out with your cock out” is just an expression!

Brannon and I got out of there for $3 in tips ea and our vision blurred more from the band’s outrageous costume than the three free rum and gingers. Brannon was feeling pretty good. Sometimes I wish I was 5’2″.

We left the Lower East Side for Chelsea and made it to UCB just in time for the 11pm sketch show, $5. Three sketch groups did an old classic and a new or otherwise “less classic” piece. The show ended with a velociraptor interrupting passover. That was a B side. Good times and laughs.

We got home in time for Brannon to pack for her camping trip while we drank a couple beers and shared some wasabi peas. What a perfect night. Girls make the best dates… I wish I was more into that lesbian erotica.

I’ll miss fried squash and non-frigid temperatures too, but here follows my top five most likely to be missed people, places, and things.

4. My bed.

My queen size bed won’t fit in my tiny room in Astoria. Not even without the iron head and footboard, not if I want access to my closet. I’m buying a futon so I can have more space in the room regularly and the extra bed space when I have visitors. You know, like my parents.

3. My dogs.

I can’t take my furry friends with me. Sad, sad. These dogs aren’t city dogs. My folks had talked about trying to find them a home with a bigger yard upon my leaving, but they have changed their minds for now (go team puppy dog eyes!). I’ve gotten even more attached to these dogs since living here. I’ll miss waking up with Gilbert’s head on the corner of my pillow and Abbey at my feet. Hairy bed-hogging monsters.

2. My parents.

They are pretty awesome people. This photo was taken before they went to see a Pink Floyd cover band at the Fox. I’ve spent more time with them since moving back than I have since… I don’t know. I think I got out more in high school. Hahaha. I’m so cool. Tonight I’ll watch Dancing With the Stars with them one last time. We like Mya.

1. My girls.

I miss Sheeji, Jessica, and Alicia too, but I have already come to terms to their departures to Tennessee, South Carolina, and Korea. Ashley and Marissa though, not having you guys around every weekend is going to be a challenge. Who will be my wingwomen? My dogs, my parents, and these girls have been my best friends this year. I’ll miss these babes most of all.

(5. Clermont Lounge)

My favorite Atlanta nightspot. Alive since 65! (Dancers alive since 47!) Good times, always.

I’ll really miss you much.

BUT… I’m so bleepin’ excited about NYC! Yippee skippy!

The blog and I are working out our problems. It seems I’m afraid of commitment, and the blog has trust issues. How many times do I have to tell you, Facebook and I are just friends?!

Blog, here is my vow, Slacktember will not be followed by Blocktober.

I’m packing for the move to NYC now. I’m very busy and have no idea how I’ll accomplish everything I need to in the time I have. This means I’ll probably be writing more often in order to momentarily escape this moving business. Hey, it’s Slacktember!

Or less adorable, maybe they were looking for a fur coat. Fox and raccoon combo coats do exist; I found this hideous example. A poncho too, shudder.

Or perhaps they were making a hillbilly stew. Or looking for a trendy cocktail recipe. Or searching for an obscure DJ. I’m curious.

I have no idea what they intended to find, but I wonder why any search engine would send them to my blog. I don’t think I’ve spoken once about either of these woodland critters. I haven’t yet mentioned our old dog Suzie, or the origins of her full name, Foxy Suzie Dottie Whittemore Dog. And I haven’t told the story of my sister’s controversial nickname as a baby, Pet Coon. (I swear there is a funny and in no way racist story to back that one up. Guess I had better tell it soon.)

Fox Raccoon Mix Googler, I wish you the best of luck in your quest, whatever it may me.

I had to work in it last weekend, and yeah, our booth is outside at Lakewood 400. I spent most of my time sitting in the car waiting on brave customers to occasionally appear. I had somehow forgotten my umbrella, and I soon tired of my plastic poncho. I wasn’t too happy.

While I was merely getting annoyed, other people’s homes (along with schools, businesses, highways, theme parks, you name it) were getting flooded.

The photos are surreal.

Someone found a sense of humor in this. It’s wrong I know, but I had to laugh.

More flood photos: http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2009/09/21/aerial-photos-of-atlanta-floods/

Thanks Marissa and Jessica for the pics.

So glad that my name rhymes with “neck me” and is now slang for oral sex. Lovely.

There was already a country song, “Rebecca Lynn” by Bryan White. It is just slightly different in theme. Ha. Sentimental and very cheesy.

Neither is my ringtone. Now if there was a mash-up…

OK, some blog worthy events I have missed since I went AWOL:

Mom and Dad spent their 40th wedding anniversary back in February watching the Super Bowl. How romantic.

February also marked the nine year anniversary of my becoming a vegetarian. Next year I’m throwing a party. No giant sub sandwich needed, maybe giant falafel?

The same month I visited Chapel Hill for NCCAF. I saw a lot of great improv. My group Elaine was reunited for a really fun show. I played a French terrorist who was lured into capture by Girl Scout cookies; singing orphans made an appearance at one point. After our performance we tried dabbling in modeling… good thing we’re funny.

The Basement held the Spontaneous Combustion Festival in March. Also a great time. Furbus and penthouse after party, oh yeah!

I had been spending time with girl friends already, but in early March The Unit was formed. The Unit core consists of five fun gals up to no good. The group has been hanging out in various incarnations in Atlanta and Athens ever since. We see concerts, we dance, we drink tequila shots with Marissa’s parents. We talk all night. These amazing friends are the reason I have not gone insane while living here. I’m so thankful for having these girls in my life!

Chances are any Friday or Saturday night I wasn’t with The Unit I was probably hanging out with a group of French foreign exchange grad students from GA Tech. I randomly met these kids in January at Opera, the biggest club in Atlanta. They liked to dance so we became friends instantly. I drank many a room temperature beverage with these European nerds (not referring to Cécile of course, she is no geek) during their spring semester. They were only here until the beginning of May, so they had to live it up America style while they had the chance. I thoroughly approved of this pursuit of fun, and together we explored Atlanta. They even taught me a little French. Let’s just say my French vocabulary isn’t in the text books. Pictured below are my friends, the first six, and two of their classmates at Sweetwater Brewery.

In April, Ashley, Alicia, another friend, and I took a quick, spontaneous road trip to Austin, TX with a pit stop in New Orleans. We are talking salsa, margaritas, and dive bars. We were there for my birthday, and it was a good one. Ratatat guest DJed at the place we were dancing. The adventure was, as Marissa would say, epic. Pictured below is our traveling group plus guide seated on a massive rock at Barton Springs Park.

My good friends from college Zac and Hollie got married in May. Ashley, Courtney, and I drove from GA to Iowa City for the ceremony. It was possibly the coolest wedding ever, so casual and relaxed. One of the groomsmen walked down the isle barefooted. We ate organic pizza, drank home brewed beer, and danced to Freak Nasty’s “Da Dip” (which I should admit I supplied to the playlist). Below the couple do “the Hollie” with back up from the bridesmaids.

Unfortunately my grandma fell and broke her wrist. When she had to have a second surgery on it in late May I drove to Arkansas to stay with her for a few days. I actually left the day after I got back from Iowa. Lots of driving that week. We watched a good bit of The Dog Whisperer, The Game Show Network, and Lifetime. I cooked, and to my surprise my fried squash, my favorite food and a tricky dish indeed, came out to perfection. Grandma spent a lot of time complaining about what she couldn’t do, then yelling at me to stop with the chores and come sit down. That is Grandma. He wrist seems to be healed nicely now.

In June, Ashley and I made an exciting last minute decision to go to Bonnaroo. My disposable camera is still yet to be developed, but I can promise that we saw some things. So many stages, so many bands, so many wannabe hippies, so many degrees, so little showering… somehow all this equaled an incredible time. The highlight would be the outrageous late night dance party that was the Girl Talk concert. It began at something like 2am and went longer than scheduled (no one was complaining). We were then misdirected back to our tent. We got to camp at sunrise. Amazing.

Later that month my family and I visited my sister in Virginia for a couple days. I got to see her in a very cute production of Jack and The Beanstalk and a spectacular Wizard of Oz at the Barter Theater. Somehow my nearly 6′ tall sister played a munchkin. The wonder of costume! Obviously my favorite part of the play was when she, suspended on wires, flew her bicycle through the tornado as the evil Toto-hating neighbor of Dorothy. She always gets the parts of the witch or wicked stepsister. Typecasting? Winks. Love you sis!

I managed to squeeze a little work in between all this travel. I started doing antique shows for my parents again this summer and cut the retail back to only three days a week. It was a smart decision for monetary and family reasons. Dad is having some health issues and needs to limit his time working in the heat. I sell mostly in Atlanta and thereabouts, but I have been to a market in Charlotte, NC once and just a few weeks ago Brimfield, MA. I really like peddling the wrought iron. I will make sure to have my camera charged up when I go back to Brimfield in September. This is a week long antique show that happens three times a year where many dealers camp out in the fields they set up in. I spent three days in the tent and met some real characters out there including two old men and a 12 year old kid who all want to date me and a gruff old woman who sells jewelry and swears like a sailor loudly under her hoarse breath. Besides for the kid, a real sweetie, I’m not sure who scares me most.

I tried to quit my retail job at the end of May and was actually offered a promotion instead. The whole interview process was long and tiresome (don’t get me started about the interviewer who didn’t show up and the other fun BS I had to deal with), and by the end of it I changed my mind. I had pushed my lofty plans for NYC aside until out of nowhere my good friend Brannon came up with the perfect place for us to live in Astoria, Queens. This apartment is nice and has amazingly affordable rent for the location meaning I could live in NYC for about the same I would pay in ATL… basically I was being asked to choose between my dream and so-so retail promotion with a minuscule raise. It seemed like a really tough decision for about a second. Below is my future home.

I haven’t exactly kept to all my goals I blogged back in January (for instance I now put my resolve into untagging myself from those pesky double chin photos), but I think I’ve succeeded in staying true to the most important ones which are simply staying positive, having fun, and getting the hell out of here.

So blog, I’m back. I’ve got things to write about. I’ve got a life to live. I’m MOVING OUT! In October! My name is on the lease as of the first of this month (I got a friend to sublet in the meantime). You know, living with my parents (yours would probably be a different story) wasn’t so bad. It didn’t really suck after all. But please, don’t get me wrong; I’m doing a little dance inside my head just thinking about having my own place again. Thank you blog, friends, and nights out in ATL for getting me though this transitional phase only three months past my self imposed deadline. That’s right on time for a procrastinator like me!

Yep, I’m back. Back from Paris as of yesterday actually, but that dear blog deserves a post all of its own.

So blog, doesn’t that feel better? We aren’t strangers anymore. Think we can make things work if we really try? Oh, caught you smiling! I knew you would come around. And hey bloggy-boo, if I slip up again I swear to go to conseling, like maybe take a writing class in NYC. And blog, if the screen on my laptop worked I promise we would cuddle like crazy.

This past week I ran into three familiar faces. The last one I saw was the most welcome. An old friend from college came into my store Saturday. Neither of us knew the other was in the area. She recognized my voice as I was hawking the buy one get one half off tees and tanks (mix and match!) to another customer. It was cool to see her, and hopefully I’ll meet up with her again sometime.

There are a few people I’ve been meaning to see. Tomorrow I’m finally catching up with a chick I bailed on back in the beginning of February. I can’t believe that I’ve been in Georgia for two and a half months already. Where has the time gone? What have I been doing? Having fun mostly, but that is another post.

When I went to the post office to pick up a package I should have known I would run into my old preacher. He was very nice of course. I was worried he was going to try to get me to come back to church, but I guess he can’t say anything like that at work. Yay for government jobs!

At Food Lion, I spotted my trigonometry teacher doing her grocery shopping. I was afraid of her even as a senior in high school. Heck, I’m still scared of her. She is an unpleasant woman. I made sure not to make eye contact.

I keep running into people I went to high school and college with. This can be kind of awkward. At both of the malls I’ve worked at here I’ve seen someone I knew almost every day. Sometimes they have their kids with them. Sometimes they don’t recognize me. I look a lot different than I did in college when I had short, bright red hair. Often times we don’t remember each others names, but I always say something because pretending I don’t know them is even more awkward. It is just kinda weird, and I would prefer not to deal with it.

I did reminisce with a girl who I took biology with the freshman year of high school. We sat in the front of the classroom in a group of four girls in an otherwise male class. We girls were very good students, but the boys were all jokers and slack-offs. They sat in the very back of the classroom. We did get into the habit of giving our fellow female students the answers to questions we didn’t know on our tests (not like there were many!). See, I wasn’t a complete goody goody. We were very sneaky about this, but once the guys caught on and told on us (because they got in trouble all the time). We all denied it but were told to stay after and clean gum off of the desks. We never ended up doing any scraping. Being a good girl in high school occassionally let you get away with a thing or two.