Archive for November, 2009

I Get Around

So, as you might have guessed from my last post, I’m here! It’s actually been almost three weeks now. I’ve experienced a lot of exciting NYC so far, and I’ve had to find my way around to do so. Lemme tell ya how.

Getting Around NYC

Method 1. Car (not recommended)

Back in the long ago time of two weeks ago, I had the use of my parents’ car. During this time I got acquainted with customary New York greetings. A quick honk is a way of saying, “Hello and welcome to the city Georgia driver!”, while the longer, almost never-ending horn blast can be loosely translated as “Please move along now friend! Life is too grand to dally! That’s right. Scoot it. Scoot! Seriously, get the F out of my way!” Instead of waving hello with the whole hand, middle fingers are flashed in a friendly and playful exchange between motorists. How fun!

I got a parking ticket, basically a personal thank you note from the city expressing their gratitude for making Astoria my new home. It’s practically the key to the city! After paying my $45 fine, think it as a membership fee, I’ll be in a special club for New Yorkers only! Oh goody!

Method 2. On Foot

I have gotten lost while walking so many times already. I prefer this method of transport when it comes to losing my direction (apparently one of my favorite activities). It is easier to rectify a wrong turn with no one-way streets or horns barking “Hey asshole! Hey neighbor!” to worry about.

Astoria is crazy with their numbered streets, roads, drives, and avenues. Last week I made the ever so wise decision, considering my track record, to buy groceries at an unfamiliar store. I worried my frozen peas were going to thaw out before I ever made it back to my apartment. I cursed my choice of purchases (canned goods!?) while lugging around my bags for half an hour. Thankfully, and for the good of future frozen veggies, there are two grocery stores closer to home. I finally bought my own NYC Not For Tourists Guide with many handy and discreet maps which will become a permanent addition to the contents of my purse.

Method 3. Cab

I cannot comment on this method from personal experience. It would cost about $30 to get me home from Manhattan or Brooklyn. No thanks. I would rather wait around for an hour in order to catch a late night train. I’ve got more time than cash to burn.

Method 4. Bike

My roommate’s method of choice. She’s got the fit legs to prove it. I’m jealous, but doubt I will soon join her in this eco-friendly mode of travel. I’m too scared. And there seems to be lots of physical effort involved.

Method 5. The Subway

Halloween on the Subway

Easily the best way to get around NYC. It’s great. It’s easy. I live right by the N. Even I hardly ever screw this up!

It is safe too, but I must say that earlier this week I saw a gun pulled out on the subway.

While seated on the N returning from my trek into Manhattan after a vigorous day of window shopping on 5th Ave, I witnessed some cwazy on the train. Two young men rushed in mid-fight. Lots of yelling and cursing. They seemed pissed. Shouts soon became shoves, and one guy was pushed hard into another passenger. This happened right in front of me, and I was hoping they would continue to move on so no one could fall in my lap. The guy that got shoved reached into his pants. The passenger he was just propelled into began to yell “He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun!” I was trying to mind my own business, but that will get anyone’s heart pumping. Then the guy pulled out the “gun”, a hairbrush. Al three dudes started laughing and ran out of the car. The last one said as he left “You all should be ashamed.”

The subway driver made an angry announcement about holding the doors and delaying the train. I didn’t know what to think. It was crazy. I looked around. The other passengers didn’t seem phased. I started grinning.

And that’s how you get around in NYC.


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Best Date Ever.

Sorry male suitors, you can’t top this. My roommate Brannon and I had the best friend date possible last night. Not only do we know how to have a good time, we know how to do it for cheap. Real cheap.

We left the apartment around 5pm, starting the night off early and with a bang too. We satisfied our vegetarian hunger with falafel in the Village for only $2.50; a tasty, tasty steal for the price of subway fare!

While wandering through the Lower East Side in search of Rice to Riches, an all rice pudding eatery, we noticed a crowded store front. We naturally had to investigate and found the bookstore Bluestockings was having a lesbian erotica reading. We had to stay of course! I had no idea it would be so heavy into S&M. It was entertaining and some stories were even funny, especially the one about the cowgirl and the carnie. We both put $1 in the donation bucket.

Since Rice to Riches was not to be found in our NFT Guide, we walked down the street to Sugar Cafe and splurged on coffee and a sugar fix. Lesbian erotica can work up a girl’s appetite. We split tiramisu and baklava. Delicious. $5 ea.


We chatted at our table until my coffee was cold and it was time for our next destination, Crash Mansion. According to their website they were voted #1 rock venue in NYC. We got there just after 9pm for an hour of free drinks thanks to a heads up from Open Bars. We were serenaded by a glammed out, David Bowie-esque Michael T and the Vanities, a rocking 80s cover band. Totally rad. They were followed by a downright frightening band of Pilgrims and Indians. Male thongs on stage. The horror. They were fun and loud and took their influence from 80s rockers as well, but with much less style (and fabric). C’mon boys, “rock out with your cock out” is just an expression!


Brannon and I got out of there for $3 in tips ea and our vision blurred more from the band’s outrageous costume than the three free rum and gingers. Brannon was feeling pretty good. Sometimes I wish I was 5’2″.

We left the Lower East Side for Chelsea and made it to UCB just in time for the 11pm sketch show, $5. Three sketch groups did an old classic and a new or otherwise “less classic” piece. The show ended with a velociraptor interrupting passover. That was a B side. Good times and laughs.

We got home in time for Brannon to pack for her camping trip while we drank a couple beers and shared some wasabi peas. What a perfect night. Girls make the best dates… I wish I was more into that lesbian erotica. 😉

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