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So, as you might have guessed from my last post, I’m here! It’s actually been almost three weeks now. I’ve experienced a lot of exciting NYC so far, and I’ve had to find my way around to do so. Lemme tell ya how.

Getting Around NYC

Method 1. Car (not recommended)

Back in the long ago time of two weeks ago, I had the use of my parents’ car. During this time I got acquainted with customary New York greetings. A quick honk is a way of saying, “Hello and welcome to the city Georgia driver!”, while the longer, almost never-ending horn blast can be loosely translated as “Please move along now friend! Life is too grand to dally! That’s right. Scoot it. Scoot! Seriously, get the F out of my way!” Instead of waving hello with the whole hand, middle fingers are flashed in a friendly and playful exchange between motorists. How fun!

I got a parking ticket, basically a personal thank you note from the city expressing their gratitude for making Astoria my new home. It’s practically the key to the city! After paying my $45 fine, think it as a membership fee, I’ll be in a special club for New Yorkers only! Oh goody!

Method 2. On Foot

I have gotten lost while walking so many times already. I prefer this method of transport when it comes to losing my direction (apparently one of my favorite activities). It is easier to rectify a wrong turn with no one-way streets or horns barking “Hey asshole! Hey neighbor!” to worry about.

Astoria is crazy with their numbered streets, roads, drives, and avenues. Last week I made the ever so wise decision, considering my track record, to buy groceries at an unfamiliar store. I worried my frozen peas were going to thaw out before I ever made it back to my apartment. I cursed my choice of purchases (canned goods!?) while lugging around my bags for half an hour. Thankfully, and for the good of future frozen veggies, there are two grocery stores closer to home. I finally bought my own NYC Not For Tourists Guide with many handy and discreet maps which will become a permanent addition to the contents of my purse.

Method 3. Cab

I cannot comment on this method from personal experience. It would cost about $30 to get me home from Manhattan or Brooklyn. No thanks. I would rather wait around for an hour in order to catch a late night train. I’ve got more time than cash to burn.

Method 4. Bike

My roommate’s method of choice. She’s got the fit legs to prove it. I’m jealous, but doubt I will soon join her in this eco-friendly mode of travel. I’m too scared. And there seems to be lots of physical effort involved.

Method 5. The Subway

Halloween on the Subway

Easily the best way to get around NYC. It’s great. It’s easy. I live right by the N. Even I hardly ever screw this up!

It is safe too, but I must say that earlier this week I saw a gun pulled out on the subway.

While seated on the N returning from my trek into Manhattan after a vigorous day of window shopping on 5th Ave, I witnessed some cwazy on the train. Two young men rushed in mid-fight. Lots of yelling and cursing. They seemed pissed. Shouts soon became shoves, and one guy was pushed hard into another passenger. This happened right in front of me, and I was hoping they would continue to move on so no one could fall in my lap. The guy that got shoved reached into his pants. The passenger he was just propelled into began to yell “He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun!” I was trying to mind my own business, but that will get anyone’s heart pumping. Then the guy pulled out the “gun”, a hairbrush. Al three dudes started laughing and ran out of the car. The last one said as he left “You all should be ashamed.”

The subway driver made an angry announcement about holding the doors and delaying the train. I didn’t know what to think. It was crazy. I looked around. The other passengers didn’t seem phased. I started grinning.

And that’s how you get around in NYC.

Sorry male suitors, you can’t top this. My roommate Brannon and I had the best friend date possible last night. Not only do we know how to have a good time, we know how to do it for cheap. Real cheap.

We left the apartment around 5pm, starting the night off early and with a bang too. We satisfied our vegetarian hunger with falafel in the Village for only $2.50; a tasty, tasty steal for the price of subway fare!

While wandering through the Lower East Side in search of Rice to Riches, an all rice pudding eatery, we noticed a crowded store front. We naturally had to investigate and found the bookstore Bluestockings was having a lesbian erotica reading. We had to stay of course! I had no idea it would be so heavy into S&M. It was entertaining and some stories were even funny, especially the one about the cowgirl and the carnie. We both put $1 in the donation bucket.

Since Rice to Riches was not to be found in our NFT Guide, we walked down the street to Sugar Cafe and splurged on coffee and a sugar fix. Lesbian erotica can work up a girl’s appetite. We split tiramisu and baklava. Delicious. $5 ea.

Sugar

We chatted at our table until my coffee was cold and it was time for our next destination, Crash Mansion. According to their website they were voted #1 rock venue in NYC. We got there just after 9pm for an hour of free drinks thanks to a heads up from Open Bars. We were serenaded by a glammed out, David Bowie-esque Michael T and the Vanities, a rocking 80s cover band. Totally rad. They were followed by a downright frightening band of Pilgrims and Indians. Male thongs on stage. The horror. They were fun and loud and took their influence from 80s rockers as well, but with much less style (and fabric). C’mon boys, “rock out with your cock out” is just an expression!

101_3920

Brannon and I got out of there for $3 in tips ea and our vision blurred more from the band’s outrageous costume than the three free rum and gingers. Brannon was feeling pretty good. Sometimes I wish I was 5’2″.

We left the Lower East Side for Chelsea and made it to UCB just in time for the 11pm sketch show, $5. Three sketch groups did an old classic and a new or otherwise “less classic” piece. The show ended with a velociraptor interrupting passover. That was a B side. Good times and laughs.

We got home in time for Brannon to pack for her camping trip while we drank a couple beers and shared some wasabi peas. What a perfect night. Girls make the best dates… I wish I was more into that lesbian erotica. 😉

I’m leaving tomorrow! Finally! I stayed around Georgia a little extra time to take care of some things, make some more money, humor my mother, and blah, blah, blah. There is a slight chance that I was just maybe a little bit scared too, but I’m freaking-fracking going. Tomorrow!!!

I’ll miss fried squash and non-frigid temperatures too, but here follows my top five most likely to be missed people, places, and things.

4. My bed.

My queen size bed won’t fit in my tiny room in Astoria. Not even without the iron head and footboard, not if I want access to my closet. I’m buying a futon so I can have more space in the room regularly and the extra bed space when I have visitors. You know, like my parents.

3. My dogs.Doggies

I can’t take my furry friends with me. Sad, sad. These dogs aren’t city dogs. My folks had talked about trying to find them a home with a bigger yard upon my leaving, but they have changed their minds for now (go team puppy dog eyes!). I’ve gotten even more attached to these dogs since living here. I’ll miss waking up with Gilbert’s head on the corner of my pillow and Abbey at my feet. Hairy bed-hogging monsters.

2. My parents.

The 'rents

They are pretty awesome people. This photo was taken before they went to see a Pink Floyd cover band at the Fox. I’ve spent more time with them since moving back than I have since… I don’t know. I think I got out more in high school. Hahaha. I’m so cool. Tonight I’ll watch Dancing With the Stars with them one last time. We like Mya.

1. My girls.Gals at the Clermont Lounge

I miss Sheeji, Jessica, and Alicia too, but I have already come to terms to their departures to Tennessee, South Carolina, and Korea. Ashley and Marissa though, not having you guys around every weekend is going to be a challenge. Who will be my wingwomen? My dogs, my parents, and these girls have been my best friends this year. I’ll miss these babes most of all.

(5. Clermont Lounge)

My favorite Atlanta nightspot. Alive since 65! (Dancers alive since 47!) Good times, always.

I’ll really miss you much.

BUT… I’m so bleepin’ excited about NYC! Yippee skippy!

Slacktember

I hear fall officially began two days ago. Summer, oh summer of a lifetime, I bid you adieu. I haven’t even blogged about Paris yet! And my summer adventures didn’t end when I got back to North America.

The blog and I are working out our problems. It seems I’m afraid of commitment, and the blog has trust issues. How many times do I have to tell you, Facebook and I are just friends?!

Blog, here is my vow, Slacktember will not be followed by Blocktober.

I’m packing for the move to NYC now. I’m very busy and have no idea how I’ll accomplish everything I need to in the time I have. This means I’ll probably be writing more often in order to momentarily escape this moving business. Hey, it’s Slacktember!

“fox raccoon mix” This was listed under the top searches to find my blog. I wonder, did this person think a fox and a raccoon were able to breed? Red pandas do kinda look like an adorable mix of the two.

red panda

Or less adorable, maybe they were looking for a fur coat. Fox and raccoon combo coats do exist; I found this hideous example. A poncho too, shudder.

ugly ass coat

Or perhaps they were making a hillbilly stew. Or looking for a trendy cocktail recipe. Or searching for an obscure DJ. I’m curious.

I have no idea what they intended to find, but I wonder why any search engine would send them to my blog. I don’t think I’ve spoken once about either of these woodland critters. I haven’t yet mentioned our old dog Suzie, or the origins of her full name, Foxy Suzie Dottie Whittemore Dog. And I haven’t told the story of my sister’s controversial nickname as a baby, Pet Coon. (I swear there is a funny and in no way racist story to back that one up. Guess I had better tell it soon.)

Fox Raccoon Mix Googler, I wish you the best of luck in your quest, whatever it may me.

Well, today it has stopped at least. It has been soggy and miserable for way too long in North Georgia. CNN’s headline best described the situation, “Hotlanta” becomes “Wetlanta”.

I had to work in it last weekend, and yeah, our booth is outside at Lakewood 400. I spent most of my time sitting in the car waiting on brave customers to occasionally appear. I had somehow forgotten my umbrella, and I soon tired of my plastic poncho. I wasn’t too happy.

While I was merely getting annoyed, other people’s homes (along with schools, businesses, highways, theme parks, you name it) were getting flooded.

The photos are surreal.

ATL flood

Someone found a sense of humor in this. It’s wrong I know, but I had to laugh.

kanye ATL flood

More flood photos: http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2009/09/21/aerial-photos-of-atlanta-floods/

Thanks Marissa and Jessica for the pics.

It’s about time a gangsta rap song was named after me! Ha. Oh jeez.

So glad that my name rhymes with “neck me” and is now slang for oral sex. Lovely.

There was already a country song, “Rebecca Lynn” by Bryan White. It is just slightly different in theme. Ha. Sentimental and very cheesy.

Neither is my ringtone. Now if there was a mash-up…